If I Die Young
by 1degmusiclove1
Summary: Clare has a brain tumor and at most 3 months to live if that. Inspired by the song If I Die Young  Seriously horrible at summaries. You should give me a chance anyway :
1. I Knew This Was Coming

_**I own nothing. I wish I did but alas I do not so enjoy :)**_

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><p>"You should sit down ma'am." The doctor stated to my mother.<p>

I was sitting on the bed they have in doctor's offices, you know the ones with the crinkly paper to keep the germs away, my mom sank down into the chair next to the bed. I knew this time was coming when they said that the horrible headaches weren't normal. After they told me, they stared doing tests and such on me trying to determine everything they could. It was obvious what was coming next.

"After all the test Ms. Edwards," my mom kept the last name. "We have some bad news."

It was strange, to me, that he was looking at my mom the whole time instead of me, the patient. I shifted on the bed causing the sound of crumpling paper, the sound was supposed to be comforting to me, instead my nerves and muscles were tight and tense.

"You daughter has a brain tumor." My mother started crying. "It doesn't look good. The tumor is large , in fact, I we were to operate on it there would be lethal damage to the brain. I am sorry there is nothing much we can do. We have medication for the pain, but that is all that I can offer." My mother continued to sob.

"How long?" I spoke up. "How long do I have to live?"

"Two , maybe three months. I am sorry."

My mom made a sorrowful sound, "Oh Clare!" She got up from her seat and instantly wrapped her arms around my torso as her body shook with tears for me.

"I'll leave you two alone. Here is the prescription for the medication. May God bless and be with you."

I watched him go with silent tears rolling down my face, my mother made enough noise from the both of us.

I knew this was coming.

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><p><strong><em>So, not the longest, but this will be the longest story so far. This was just a taste. Tell me what you think I ssoooo appreciate it. :)<em>**

**_R&R!_**


	2. Be Strong For Me

_**I own nothing. In this fic Jake and Clare's parents aren't married, but they are dating. Also Jake and Clare are still dating. Forgot to mention that so enjoy :)**_

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><p>"Clare-bear you awake?" My mother cracked my door and peered in.<p>

"Yeah," I had been up for about an hour listening to her cry in her room.

She came into the room and sat down on my bed, her eyes were red, "How are you doing sweetie pie." She held my face in her hands and with her thumbs lightly brushed under my eyes. I cried myself to sleep the night before.

"Fine, my head is starting to hurt."

"Oh," she reached into the pocket of her robe. "Here is the medication the doctor gave you."

I looked at them, those pills were going to be my saviors the next few months.

"He just said to take one when you start feeling pain." My mother handed me the bottle.

"Do I have a limit?"

"No."

"Of course, I am going to die anyway." I didn't say it bitterly, just a matter-of- fact.

"Clare."

"It's fine Mom. Can you do something for me?"

"Of course, sweetie, anything."

"Let me tell everyone."

"Okay."

We sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Mon do you think God will let me be a rainbow?"

She started crying again.

"I think He will let you be anything you want."

"I am going to need you to be strong for me. I'm okay with this, I've had all the time in the world."

She nodded her head, sniffled, wiped her eyes, and sat up strait.

"I am going to do this Clare-bear don't you worry." She took a breath and said, "The doctor said you will probably have some eyesight problems towards the end and, seizures. You already know about the dizziness and vomiting."

"Okay." I said slowly.

"Oh baby," my mom said and caressed my face. "You know what you need?" she asked. "A yummy breakfast." She answered for me.

The breakfast was yummy, too bad I threw it up.

When I told Darcy she cried over the phone and promised she was coming home. Four days later she was here, I asked her the same thing I asked my mother and she agreed to be strong for me. Telling my father was the worst, he started crying and holding me so close to him it hurt. Somehow he was finding a way in his head to blame this on himself. It only became worse when I told him I had maybe three months. Finally, he let go of me stood up and walked out of the door, still crying.

"I'm so sorry Clare." My mom had said.

A week or so passed with me telling people that I love that I was dying a week of tears, a week of pain, a week of hurt, and a week of sadness. The people I told first were the people not closest to me, though in some way important: Jenna, K.C., Dave, Wesley, Conner, and Katie. I thought they were horrible until I told Jake.

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><p><em><strong>Still a little slow, but it will pick up soon because Jake , Eli and some other people who are closer to Clare.<strong>_

**_Tell me what you think? _**

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	3. We Can Dwell, or Look Forward to Today

**I own nothing.**

**I am _so sorry_ for being so slow with this update. For some reason all my teacher decided to dump a shit load of homework on me. Anyway no excuses I am so sorry, but on the bright side I am back. **

**Hope you enjoy it! If you don't really like Jake I am sorry about this, but the next chapter will be with the ever-attractive Elijah.**

**Have fun!**

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><p>"Hey can I talk to you?" I stood in his doorway.<p>

"Yeah, sure, of course." He nodded and led me up the stairs. "What is up? Is something wrong?" he began when we were safely on his bed.

He took my hand when I offered it. It was nice to have his big, warm, comforting hands around mine.

"You know how I have be feeling really sick lately." When he nodded I went on, "I went to the doctor and, um, um…" my eyes started to water, everyone else I told started crying, at least a little, and I didn't think I could see Jake do it too. "I have a brain tumor. I found out about a week and a half ago and I have about three months, at most." I pushed painfully out. His hands had become tense and he was scarily still.

I searched his face for emotion, but there none, at first. Then he got up with a whirlwind of anger and punched the wall, though it only did him damage. I sat still awestruck with my arms outstretched to stop, unsuccessfully, what had just occurred.

"Jake." I muttered.

"How? How could this happen? I just got you."

"We can either dwell on what is inevitably coming or be elated that I have today."

"How are you doing this?" He turned to me.

"Somehow I think I knew it was coming, God was kind enough to prepare me, yeah it was sad at first, but I have made my peace with my fate. The worst part is the way everyone reacts. My mom and Darce have been amazing. Today, before I came here, they helped me pick out the white dress I'll wear to my final resting place. Not a single tear was shed, that is the way I like, the way I need it. My dad still hasn't gotten over the idea that I am dying. First he thought it was his fault. Now he is just in denial. He won't even talk directly to me. The closest I have gotten to him since I told him was the telephone. I miss my dad. I'm okay though maybe this is the best way for him to deal with this."

"Who else have you told?" He asked as he took his seat adjacent to me again.

"K.C., Jenna, Dave, Connor, Wesley, and Katie." I answered taking his hand back. "You know I've never been extremely close with Dave. He's always been the guy pining hopelessly over Alli; to me he's just been an acquaintance I talked to every now and then, but he cried. I was so extremely astonished. I never thought I was very important to him."

"You are important to a lot of people Clare."

"Thanks." I smiled up at him, then groaned, "Oh God, I don't want to have to tell Adam, or Alli, or Eli."

"It is going to be okay." He squeezed my hand.

"I know." I replied with a pat of my own.

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><p><strong>If you find this slow I am sorry and I will admit to you it won't pick up very much (she's kind of dying) I am not saying it won't pick up at all, but it won't be much faster. So, tell me what you think.<strong>

**As long as it is nice I am completely open for constructive criticism.**

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**Thank you!**


	4. It Was Only A Matter of Time

_**I own nothing.**_

**Twice in a day? Yes I finished what I had to do early so here you are and here I am, with a new post. Featuring, drum roll please *drum roll* my sweet dear Elijah or Eli :)**

**Enjoy :)**

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><p>"Where to?" Eli asked when I climbed into the car. My head was killing me, but I could feel the medicine take effect. Yet another week had flown by since I told Jake and three days since I told Adam.<p>

"How about the abandoned church?"

His face screwed into confusion, but nonetheless he put the car in drive. Since we broke up we've never gone back there, but we made amends, things are different now, and we are just friends.

He stopped the car and turned it off, looking over at me expectantly. This was going to be worse than telling Adam; he only shed some tears and hugged me tight. I didn't want to put Eli through this again.

"A few weeks ago I went to the doctor. And, well, I found out, that… that…um…"

His face dropped from happy to serious as I rambled. "Spit it out Clare."

"I um. Eli I have a brain tumor. It is irremovable and I have about two months now. I'm so sorry Eli, but I figured that you would take it better hearing it from me, instead of, you know, after." I watched his face while I told him and I knew it wasn't going to be good as it spiraled downwards, like a plane with a broken wing, and tear spawned from his brilliantly dull green eyes. "No, no, no, no," he chanted silently, "Not you Clare. Please."

He balled his fist and shoved them to his ears as if he could block out the truth. When I reached for him he shouted in a whisper.

"No!"

He threw the door open and stormed out. He stomped around the church throwing down everything in his path. I let him get it all out, because it was only a matter of time before the anger flushed him and he became a broken child once again. When I stepped out of the car something shattered against the wall. His eyes were ringed red and tears were glistening on his cheeks.

"How could you do this to me? _Again_." He stressed the word with pain.

"Oh Eli." I gripped him in my arms and his hands bunched in my shirt as he buried his wet face into my shoulder and sobbed. It was only a matter of time.

"I love you Clare!"

"I know Eli. I love you too." I gave him a squeeze.

I spent the rest of the day and the whole next one with Eli, he wouldn't let go of me once. He either had my hand, or his arm around my waist, or around my shoulders, but not once did it leave my body. I'm sure we looked like a couple and Jake might have been mad, but I found myself not caring, this was the end of my short life and Eli was the love of it. He made sure I remembered that every time he told me that he'd love me forever. I guess he wasn't lying, because my forever was almost over.

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><p><strong>How did you like it? Next chapter with be Alli's turn.<strong>

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	5. Funny, When You're Dead People Listen

**_I own nothing._**

**__So how about that Degrassi tonight? I personally love Clare and Jake's SIBLING relationship. Oh Fiona and Imogen, and did anyone else pop a gasket from laughing too hard when Mo and Connor mocked Eli and Clare. **

**Anyways, ENJOY!**

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><p>"I finally get some time with you girly." Alli said plopping on the bed next to me. "You've been all, but nonexistent at school. What's up? Every time I have asked someone about you they get all weird and I swear they look like they pity me." She sat the popcorn bowl between us and flipped on <em>The Notebook<em>.

Alli's phone beeped and when she looked at it her cheeks puffed out while she rolled her eyes.

"Dave again?" I asked.

"Yup. Penny for your thoughts?" she inquired exasperated as she let her hands, that were clasped around the phone, fall into her lap lazily.

"Oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar. They are worth so much more after I'm a goner."

"That's a little morbid." She laughed.

"It is the truth." She stopped short when she heard my tone that seemed to make everything click.

"What is wrong with you and why am I the last to know?" She demanded.

"Alli, you're my best friend. I- I didn't know how to tell you."

"What is wrong?" She repeated.

"I have a brain tumor." I said quietly.

"Oh God, how long ago did you find out?"

"A month and I have about a month or two according to the doctor, but I give myself another half."

"Oh Clare no." She hugged me.

"Why does everyone keep saying that, as if they could change it?"

"I'm so sorry Clare." I could hear the tears in her throat.

The only other sound in the house was the T.V. until the slam of a door and loud voices interrupted.

"Is that your dad?" Alli wondered.

It sounded like him, but I hadn't really seen him since we told him.

"Yeah I think so."

I pulled away from Alli, grabbing her hand, and dragged her to the stairs.

"Helen! Helen what do you think you are doing!"

"_**I**_ am taking care of my daughter! Where have you been?"

He said nothing in return.

"She is_ dying _Randall and her own father won't even talk to her! Somehow she is still happy. We could learn something from our baby girl Randall!"

"She is only happy, because she won't have to live with you!"

"Daddy!" I screamed at him as I came into view dragging a stunned and out of place Alli behind me. "Stop fighting!"

They both stood in shocked silence.

"Now you hear me? Now that I am practically dead? Now you listen to me?" I scoffed, "Is that what is takes! Six feet under the ground! Tears weren't good enough? Pain wasn't good enough? No you have to have death?" I cried.

"No, of course not sweetie." My mom amended.

"Can you do something for me?" I said pushing my mom away when she tried to wrap her arms around me. "Just stop. As long as I live, which God knows isn't very long, you two need to get along. Can you do that?"

"Yes, yes we can." Mom said sending my father a pointed look.

Funny how when you're dead people start listening.

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><p><strong>You like? Well, I hope you did. <strong>

**Reviews are beautiful. Just saying.**

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	6. Don't Be Sorry

_**Disclamer: I sadly own nothing :(**_

**So, do you guys hate me? I am sooo sorry that I took so long to update and I hope you guys are happy with this one. Thank you for reading :)**

**Enjoy? Please.**

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><p>I was right, about a week until I seriously went downhill. Darcy and I were walking downstairs when suddenly I froze then started seizing. If Darcy had not been there then I'm not sure what would've happened. I have been bed written since.<p>

"Clare?" I hear a voice ask though my eyes can't make out the figure, or should I say figures. "It's Jenna, K.C., Connor, Dave, Wesley, Katie and Drew."

I take in a painful breath and struggle to sit up, when one of my arms gives out making Katie gasp then rush over to help me sit up. My vision focuses finally and I see the rest of them enter the room.

"Guys, I look like crap. Jenna will you hand me those glasses." They all stand awkwardly in my small room. "Please, sit down wherever you can." Both Jenna and Katie end up on the bed, Jenna at the foot and Katie next to me. "I'm so sorry I look so horrible you guys."

"No, Clare you shouldn't be sorry for anything." Katie says grabbing my hand and patting it. "You have been such an inspiration to us Clare. I was wondering if you would be up to an interview for a newspaper dedicated to you. But, only if you're up for it."

"I'm only dying." I joked, but when none of them laughed I continued with, "Of course."

After the interview the rest of them catch me up on what was happening in school. Even though I don't really care anymore, it is nice to just talk to my friends. They all know what is coming and they have been so great during this. Any quarrel involving K.C. or Jenna didn't matter anymore and it seemed so trivial that I was ever so bitter. Dave, Drew, and Wesley aren't just some kids I talked to, they were people who care about me and would miss me when I left. Katie isn't just my boss she's someone I had a rough start with, but good friend in the end. And Connor, oh Connor, the sweet boy who has grown so much, the one I defended because he just didn't know what to do with himself, the one other person who knew what it was like to be intelligent and bullied. My first real friend.

As Drew finishes telling something funny that Adam had done I feel everything in my stomach gurgle and begin its journey up my throat.

"Trashcan." I mumble to Katie.

She quickly lunges for the can and thrusts it under my chin in time for my breakfast to make an appearance. I feel my hair being gathered out of the way and a soothing hand on my back. When I finish Katie, keeping a firm hand on my back, grabs a tissue and hands it to me. As I wipe my mouth Jenna gently places my hair down. I say a quiet thank you to both of them. When I gain control of myself I look up and tell them all I am sorry.

"You could rob a bank and still have no reason to be sorry." Drew says.

When they all leave they hug me one-by-one with shiny eyes. Connor is the last one and he hugs e longer than the others and whispers.

"I am going to miss you Clare."

Then I start crying and whimper out, "I'm going to miss you too."

"I love ya, Clare." He cries lowly.

"I love you too, Connor."

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><p><strong>Love it, Hate it, Anything?<strong>

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	7. Don't Cry For Me Anymore

**Disclaimer: I own nothing :(**

**_I updated! I hope you guys like it. In this chapter, I feel like they would be her closest friends so, enjoy :)_**

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><p>"Are you up? Can we come in?" Jake asks.<p>

I nod and he enters the room followed by Alli, Adam, and Eli. I smile painfully and pull on the glasses I was given because my eyesight is going. Alli walks over to me tears already in her eyes and sits next to me on the bed, automatically reaching for my hand. I hold on tight knowing this will probably be the last time I hold my best friend's hand. Adam does the same, taking my hand as he sits next to me. Jake and Eli pull up chairs next to the bed.

"Hey guys." I breathe out.

"How are you doing Clare?" Eli asks thickly.

"I'm as good as it gets." I say simply. " Alli, will you turn on the T.V."

And so it was, the five of us stared blankly at the moving pixels. I did catch all of them at least once eyeing me as if in that second it was going to happen.

I turn to Alli and tell her I have to go to the bathroom. She nods and helps me up and into the bathroom. She closes the door after we both enter and keeps her back to me as I do my business. When I finish I stumble over to the sink where she grabs and steadies me. I was my hands with her balancing hold on me. I finish and turn around leaning against the sink, supporting myself as best as possible while trying to stop the room from spinning. It finally levels out just a little, so I turn back around and brush my teeth. I go to put on some mascara, but my hand is shaking so erratically that Alli takes it away and does it for me with a loving smile. We stay in here for a while and Alli puts on my makeup, then does my hair and I almost feel as if I am not dying. Alli steps back to look at her work, smiles and bursts into tears. She hugs me tight as she smears her own makeup. I hold onto her partly to keep my balance and partly to console her. She sniffles, and stands up straight, reaches over, grabs the cardigan off the hook on the door, and helps me put it on over my pajamas. She smiles, wipes her big brown eyes, fluffs her hair and loops her arm through mine. She opens the door and places her hand over mine on her arm while we go back to my room.

When we enter the boys are arguing in whispers, but they automatically stop and Eli stands instantly ending the conversation. They all look at me as if they want to cry.

"I thought something might have happened. I was about to come check on you," Eli says, staring intently at me. "You look like…like…you."

"Well who else?" I ask with a smile.

We end up playing LIFE with Alli helping me the whole time. I win the game. I retire first with nothing but a husband and a large amount of money. After the game the boys leave an it is just me and Alli. I turn the T.V. back on while Alli and I talk.

"So how is Dave?" I ask even though I just saw him a day ago.

"He is okay."

"You two doing all right?"

"He's been really sweet." She stops abruptly, "Clare how are you doing this? How can you act like nothing is wrong when I know that right now you want to rip your head open, because it hurts so bad? Or that you can barely see me even with those glasses. How can you be okay when you know that you are going to die?" All of what she says is true.

"Because, Alli, I knew something was wrong and the doctor only confirmed what God had told me. I have had all the time in the world and it is okay for me to go."

Alli's eyes started to gloss with water. "No, Alli, don't cry. Gather up your tears keep in them in your pocket and save them for a time when you are really going to need them. I am going, no changing that, and I want to go with peace and love. Don't cry for me anymore Alli."

She nods and hugs me.

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><p><em><strong>I know guys short, but next one should be longer. The story is almost over and we all know how it ends. Anyway, thank you for reading.<strong>_

_**R&R, pretty pretty please with cherries on top :)**_


	8. Can I Cry Now?

**Disclaimer: I own nothing :(**

**_So do you guys like super-doubly hate me? Yes? Oh okay, this is my peace offering. Hopefully you guys enjoy._  
><strong>

**_Thank you to everyone who is still reading even though I am crap at updating. _**

**_So, I am going to stop talkling and let you read. _**

**_Enjoy 3_**

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><p>Today is worse than before, I couldn't even get up to take a shower. Currently, I am lying with my head in my sister's lap while she strokes my hair. I know that she is trying to watch T.V., but she can't stop looking down at me while I labor to breath. I know she feels horrible, because she can't do anything but she wants to. I am trying to make it easier on her, if only it didn't have to hurt so badly. I can't see what she is watching just bright lights. I can hardly see shapes anymore. I don't think I have much longer anymore. My mom tried to feed me earlier, but as soon as I swallowed the food everything came right back up, even the acid. So now I sit here with Darcy trying to make me feel better.<p>

My mom comes back into the room with water then sits down and puts my feet in her lap. My dad is in the kitchen, but he can't bear to see me like this. So, I just stay here and wait with my family with bated breath for the inevitable.

Tomorrow is not much better. I am in my own bed and Darcy is still holding me. Earlier Jake visited me, but he started crying so I sent him away. Now a light knock sounds. I can't actually see her but Alli's voice says, "Hey Clare. Hi Darce."

Darcy mutters hello while Alli sits down.

"Eli is downstairs; he gave me a ride over." She says. "I just came to tell you that my parents are sending me away. They don't think I should stay here right now. I don't think they understand how much worse sending me away will be. They said I could say goodbye and they would pick me up from here. You know you are my best-friend right?" She asks with a tight throat. "I love you so much Clare-bear. No matter what. You'll always be my best-friend."

"I know Alli."

She reaches for my hand, "I'll see you when I get back okay."

"Alli-"

"No Clare, I _will_ see you when I get back. Let me have this." She whispers tears unshed and lingering. "Can I cry now Clare?" I nod then like the flood gates of the Hoover Dam opened she cries and hugs me tight while I cry with her. Her phone buzzes against my leg and when she ignores it a car horn outside beeps. I sniffle and chide her to go.

"I love you Clare-Bear."

That's the last time I'll see Alli, the sad part is I didn't really even see her.

Once I hear the door close I know she is gone, however I don't have much time to grieve, while Darcy rubs soothing circles on my arm, because Eli comes in. He whispers hey. As if she was asked Darcy says "You've got her?" he says yes and Darcy eases me off of her, leans down kisses my head, and leaves. Eli takes my hand.

"Don't you start crying on me Goldsworthy." I say testily.

He chuckled, "Okay."

"Alli gone?"

"Yeah." He said morosely. "She was crying so much in the car hoping she wouldn't do it in front of you. Guess it didn't work."

"No."

"Sorry Clare."

"S'not your fault." I slur.

"Clare, are you okay?"

"I'm just so tired." I formulate mushy words.

"Here." His hand slips from mine, I whimper, "Shh it's okay." He coos. I feel the bed shift and then I am being tucked under him protectively. I wrap my arm around his torso and mumble a thank you.

After a few moment of silence I say, "Eli, I need you to do something for me."

"Anything." He answers quickly.

"It isn't going to be easy for you Eli."

"I can do it, for you."

"You have to promise me that you're going to forget me and promise not to blame yourself. When I am gone don't internalize everything, you have a whole world of people. Cece, Bullfrog, Adam, Imogen, Fiona, Alli, Drew, and even Jake. I asked him if when I am gone and you need help he'll do everything he ethically can. He didn't understand, but he knows it is what I need and want. And if all else fails you know where I will be, forever." I say then take a breath. "And don't go and find some girl to give your baggage to. Eli I love you, but it isn't fair. I'm not sure many more people can handle you. Whenever you feel overwhelmed find one of us and explain how you feel and everything that is going through your mind. Don't stop taking you medication either okay. Can you promise me that Eli?" He stays silent and my heart beats faster, I need him to promise me. "Promise me Eli!" I shout, even though it comes out small and breathy, and sit up lazily. His eyes are red and on me, his mouth opens and closes as if he is going to say something and his head slightly shakes side-to-side. "Eli, Eli you have to! I can't worry about you." I say. "You hav-." Then I feel it, it is the same feeling I had right before my seizure on the stairs with Darcy. Right before it takes me I hear:

"I promise."

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><p><em><strong>Don't worry it isn't quite over yet. Actually, I am thinking that there will only be about one more chapter, so...<strong>_

_**Anyway, R&R.**_

_**I really hope you enjoyed reading. **_


	9. Final Promises

**_I own nothing._**

**So I think we all know that I suck at updating, but hey I'm trying. Anyway school is out for me which is why this is up unfortunately this is the last chapter. So enjoy!**

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><p><em><strong>ELI<strong>_

I don't know if I'll just be able to _forget _her like she's asking me to or open up completely either, I do know that if I promise her this it will be her dying wish, which means that I must honor it.

"Eli, Eli you have to! I can't worry about you. You hav-" she cuts off and she goes abnormally still in my arms while her eyes roll backward. Then like a jolt of electricity she vibrates violently.

What is she doing? She moves uncontrollably making my heart raced. A seizure! Oh my God! Oh my God she's having a seizure! I don't know what to do! The Edwards family had been prepared for this, not me.

"Darcy! Help! Darcy! Ms. Edwards! Please somebody help! Somebody please!" I lay Clare as flat as I can knowing I am not supposed to move her much.

Darcy is the first through the door. She gently pushes me away and blocks my view with her body, all I can she is Clare's flailing legs. Oh God Clare what have I done. I'm so sorry.

"I promised Clare! I promised!" I sob out. "Please."

Helen and Randall are in the room now and Randall pulls me away from the room, from Clare. I thrash like Clare against him, but he grips me and looks me in the eyes.

"Calm down boy. Just go downstairs," he turns and gives me a little push to the stairs, so I go.

_**CLARE**_

I lay here breathing slowly, because we are waiting for my mom to get off the phone. I don't know where Eli is, but I do wish Alli was here, her parents are right, she shouldn't be here. My mom enters with the phone in her hand.

"The doctor said that the-"

"Wait," I hear my father say. He comes in with Eli behind him.

"Okay," my mother goes on, "The doctor said that the seizures will become much more frequent. And that they might be the cause of you know…"

I hear Eli mutter a dammint, but no one else pays any mind to him because all of their eyes are on me.

"Oh, well in that case Eli, I want you to leave." I say with a level voice.

"Clare?" I can hear in his voice that he is hurt. "He rushes over to me and kneels beside the bed.

"I'm trying to keep my promise," he whispers, "If I leave here I am not sure what I will do." He softly cries, "Please. Let me stay." He begs.

"Eli," I whisper conscience that my family is two feet from us. "I don't want you to see me like this." I pull my purity ring off and take his hand. "If I can give you anything I would like it to be this. I love you, so much, that I don't want you to see me like this. I know that you want to be here for me, it is what you do. You're my rock, but I right now I need you to leave. Please.

"Clare, I can't. I can't just leave. Don't make me. Rocks don't move."

"Fine." I say, "Can you go get me a glass of water?"

"Yes, of course."

He gets up, leans over me, puts his hands on either side of my face, and presses his lips to mine. I am fully aware that my family is watching, but I put my hands to his face also. I didn't want our last kiss to be like this; just a second ago I was foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog. He presses so hard that I know he is saying goodbye, he is saying it quietly, because Eli has never really been the verbal type. What seems like twenty years is really only about twenty seconds.

"I love you Clare Diana Edwards, forever," he whispers just to me.

"I love you too, Eli. For my existence." He smiles slightly and leaves.

When I start to cry my family gathers on the bed with my mother muttering:

"That was beautiful."

I may not be able to see them clearly, but that's okay. I will go with my family close to me, and Eli just down the hall. I close my eyes, because finally everything is at peace and there is nothing but the sound of my weak beating heart as it slows.

* * *

><p><strong>So what do ya'll think? Good, Bad, Nothing?<strong>

**Tell me how you guys feel!**

**So, depending on if I feel like typing some more over the summer I may be posting a new story about Eli and Clare(duh!) but Eli might be a drug addict. Lol. So tell me if you might want to read that, but if you guys do then I will probably type a lot of it before I post it just so we can avoid you guys having to wait like months for every chapter. So review!**

**R&R! Please!**


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